Keep eye on Ball

Watch the video, the interesting bit starts from 1:20 :

To paraphrase crudely:

“Kenya’s Ball landed in bunker. Big trouble. Lots of problems getting Ball out of hazard/bunker. Me and the Prez used the right club to thrash the ball out of the bunker”

Nothing sexier than watching 2 macho men in suits talk about playing with balls, using right-sized clubs, action-reaction on balls, golf etc.

Note: my balls hurt. Care to recommend a good ball doctor?

Announcing the National “he-Goat” Fund

In bona fide support of this venture: Announcing the formal launch of the National he-Goat fund.
The creators of this fund encourage all women to immediately slap any male/he-man MP on sight.

The National he-Goat fund will provide free of charge – a he-Goat as compensation to such women.

Should a woman instead, inadvertently kick an MP in the balls, 8 he-Goats shall be provided as compensation, based on the formula, graphically illustrated below :

1 Slap ==landing on==> 1 fleshy male cheek == compensation of == 1 he-Goat

1 Kick ==acting on==> 2 male oranges + 1 male banana == compensation of == 8 he-Goats

The formula has been scientifically arrived at based on measurements done using our capable in-house staff of women and men with appropriately calibrated instruments.
(Note: we are in urgent need of replenishing our Male staff. Applications invited. Big balls, and high tolerance for pain mandatory.)

further notes from the author:

• Imagine the deafening clatter from some of those rough and over-sized ball bearings upon colliding with a well planted high heel.
• Mugithi AND her Aunty (who wears only tight trousers nowadays) demand that even the council of male-elders be brought within the purview of this scheme.

furthermore notes from the author:

• Why does it have to be a he-Goat? Have asked everyone in sight, but alas, none has been able to clarify.

Big balls

In Kenya its the time for conspiracy theories. This is mine.

Watch this video

About 20 seconds in you will see the Kenyan president in full color (Yeah, he is the guy with the big head and the pimpin blue shirt). Notice how he walks ? Its more like a waddle. The reason is simple : he has big balls, very big balls.

Clearly you need big balls for political confrontations. But Mr. president appears to have taken it literally – because when I viewed some earlier video footage, there appears to be no sign of the “big ball waddle”, so its a recent phenomenon. The president’s competitor gives him a good run for his money when it comes to the wardrobe, but falls short when it comes to big balls.

Thus on the basis of being the most well endowed contestant, the president is declared the rightful guardian of the national throne.