Airborne infection spreads

I am not dead. Just back from a long-winded matter of official business. Logistics is not a sedentary vocation you see.
So I switch on my computer, and the first email is from my friend from the Big Apple:

………..

Thought you would find this funny:

Clintonite stabs Obama supporter:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2008/0225081ortiz1.html
“The Pennsylvania man allegedly stabbed his brother-in-law in the stomach after the pair quarreled about their respective support of Democratic presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.”

So here its down to a skinny Raila vs a feminine-and-whiter Mbaki.
……….

Note: Kibaki = Mbaki, my friend is terrible with names.

Announcing the National “he-Goat” Fund

In bona fide support of this venture: Announcing the formal launch of the National he-Goat fund.
The creators of this fund encourage all women to immediately slap any male/he-man MP on sight.

The National he-Goat fund will provide free of charge – a he-Goat as compensation to such women.

Should a woman instead, inadvertently kick an MP in the balls, 8 he-Goats shall be provided as compensation, based on the formula, graphically illustrated below :

1 Slap ==landing on==> 1 fleshy male cheek == compensation of == 1 he-Goat

1 Kick ==acting on==> 2 male oranges + 1 male banana == compensation of == 8 he-Goats

The formula has been scientifically arrived at based on measurements done using our capable in-house staff of women and men with appropriately calibrated instruments.
(Note: we are in urgent need of replenishing our Male staff. Applications invited. Big balls, and high tolerance for pain mandatory.)

further notes from the author:

• Imagine the deafening clatter from some of those rough and over-sized ball bearings upon colliding with a well planted high heel.
• Mugithi AND her Aunty (who wears only tight trousers nowadays) demand that even the council of male-elders be brought within the purview of this scheme.

furthermore notes from the author:

• Why does it have to be a he-Goat? Have asked everyone in sight, but alas, none has been able to clarify.

The news

Somethings been up with the media.

Couple of days ago there was a story about a town in western kenya being flattened by men wielding rocks and sticks. This was immediately followed by a bizarre eight minute long story about swahili being taught in Japanese schools.

Then there was a cover story in the papers about the police mowing down protestors presumbaly because metal bullets are cheaper than rubber bullets (I can sense a development program here : “Fund supply of rubber bullets to kenya police”). On the third page of the same paper there was a full page story about a boy from a poor village whose life had changed because he had joined the police force and was now a proud officer serving the president.

Either I am stupid or people watching the telly are daft.